And Then There Were 4.....: February 2008

My name is Sheila and I am 45 years old. I married my High school sweetheart at the tender age of 17. We had our first son 9 months later. 14 months after that son number two was born. 22 months later we had our little girl. So there I was, 22 years old, with three wonderful children and the love of my life.I loved being a Mom and I enjoyed it more than I ever thought possible. I would hold them and watch them sleep never wanting to put them down. Clint and I were very young and I'm sure some thought we were crazy, but I wouldn't trade it!As my children grew and we bought our land and built our home I began to miss having a little one. My babies weren't babies anymore. I decided it would be fun to have little ones around and approached my husband, then the kiddos about becoming a foster family. I thought it sounded like a great idea and it would be wonderful for the kids to be involved in helping those that needed us. Everyone agreed, I made some phone calls, and we began our journey.....We went to foster parent training and did our paper work, back ground checks, home visits and then we waited. I was a little surprised that we didn't get a child immediately. Then it happened on March 18, 1998 while I was shopping with my friend Chris I received the phone call that would change my life forever. The social worker wanted to know if we would take a little boy who was 18 months old and his 3 month old baby sister. I was so excited I couldn't wait to get home.Richard and Katy came into our lives that very evening. They were beautiful but they didn't smell so pretty! My daughter Ashley and I gave them baths and fed them. Ashley read Richard a story while I rocked Katy. They stayed with us for 15 months and then the dreaded phone call came. Richard and Katy were going home. I know I am supposed to be happy and that the goal from the very beginning was reunification. I had watched the parents with Richard and Katy and I truly felt in my heart that they were not ready for the responsibility. Katy was so frail when she came to us she was failing to thrive, she spit up all the time, had frequent diarrhea and many ear infections. She was just beginning to blossom. I feared for her safety. There was nothing I could do but pray to God to watch over these children and keep them safe. I was not prepared for how difficult it would be to let go. I loved these children and I didn't know if I would ever see them again. With a broken heart and tears streaming down my face I stood next to Clint as we said our goodbyes. I will never forget the looks on their faces. I felt as if they were asking me why they had to go away.Three weeks had passed since our sweet little babies had gone away. My heart ached and I thought of them constantly. The second week in July I received a phone call from D.H.S asking me if I minded speaking with Katy's doctor. The worker informed me that Katy had been found unconscious in her crib and rushed to the hospital. She had suffered a metabolic crises and because of a lack of oxygen she had brain damage. When she awoke from the coma she was unable to speak, sit up, stand or walk. The doctors needed to speak to someone that knew when Katy had attained each milestone such as walking and how well she talked. They had nothing to compare her current condition with. I asked if we could come to the hospital and be with her. When we saw her tiny little body in that big hospital bed with all the tubes coming out of her I couldn't believe it was the same child. I stayed with her night and day. I took her to the play room and coaxed her into taking tiny little steps with help. I got her to take small bites of food. I bathed her and brushed her tangled hair.The doctors explained that Katy had a rare metabolic disorder called Medium Chain acyl CoA Dehydrogenase. Medium chain acyl CoA dehydrogenase deficiency, or 'MCAD,' is a disorder in which your body is unable to breakdown fats to make energy. Normally, fat is broken down into energy by "enzymes." This energy keeps your body running whenever it runs out of its main source of energy, a sugar called 'glucose.' In MCAD, a very important enzyme for breaking down fat, the medium chain acyl CoA dehydrogenase enzyme (MCAD) is missing or does not work correctly. This means that people with MCAD can't break down fat for energy when they run out of glucose. When people with MCAD fast, they can experience a range of serious life threatening symptoms or even death. Persons with MCAD cannot use this fat to make energy, consequently, the body begins to fail and malfunction once the food the person has eaten runs out. The main treatment is to avoid going without food for very long periods. Children should eat high carbohydrate meals like sugar-containing drinks, cereals, and pastas when they are ill. Children with MCAD should follow a low fat diet. If not detected and treated appropriately, MCAD can result in death. Untreated MCAD can lead to mental retardation and death.Katy was released from the hospital into our care. Richard went to another foster home due to all the therapies and constant care Katy needed at this time. Richard never made it back to us. He was adopted by a family that fell in love with him while we helped Katy with her long journey back. We spent everyday working with Katy encouraging her to walk and talk.On April 27, 2001 when she was 3 1/2 years old Kaitlin Elizabeth Kimble became our daughter. She was officially ours. When the Judge announced her new name and put her in my arms I felt the same joy I felt when my biological children were born. The same feelings overwhelmed me and I knew that God had brought us to Katy and that she was supposed to be with us and never have to say good bye again.Now it is December 2, 2007 and Katy will be 10 years old on the 24th. She is in the third grade. She is truly a gift from God. She brings us so much joy. I will admit though that it isn't always easy. Katy has developmental delays and ADHD do to the metobolic crises. She goes to speech, occupational and physical therapy twice a week. She has a Para professional that helps her because Katy has not learned to read. She needs constant supervision as she does not think things through. She is very revved up and is on medication to help her sleep. I was very much against giving her any medication in the beginning but after being up until 2:00 and 3:00 in the morning trying to get her to sleep and regularly being late for school, I soon realized that this was a good choice for Katy. It slows her down enough to be able to go to sleep and she is able to wake up in the morning feeling rested and ready to go to school.Katy has three older siblings Chris her oldest brother is 27. Randy her brother is 26 and her sister Ashley is 24. She has a niece Brooklynn who is 6 and a nephew Hayden that is 3. She has another nephew Peyton that is 3 1/2. Join me as you peek into my life and all that it entails as a Mom to three grown children and Katy a 10 year old who keeps me on my toes. I'm Nana to three beautiful grandchildren and wife to the love of my life. The journey continues......

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Ashley's Official Husband Appreciation Day

Okay Ashley I am taking your suggestion and letting anyone who reads my blog know why my husband is so wonderful to me. Clint is a very special husband. We married when I was seventeen and he was eighteen. No I was not pregnant however; we did have a child just nine months after our wedding day. We will celebrate our twenty eighth wedding anniversary on August first of this year. Clint has always been a good provider. He is a Christian with very high morals. He is honest, hard working and a wonderful father and Poppa. I can not imagine life with out him. He always makes me feel loved and adored. Sometimes I wonder why he puts up with me. He recently put me through college. He prepared meals and took care of Katy and worked a full time job so I could go to school and study. We were High School sweethearts and each others first loves. Clint is my best friend and the love of my life. I have included a picture taken in 1979 at Clint's Sr. Prom.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Weekend with Ashley and Peyton

Ashley spent the night with us. We went to Wal-mart and the Sonic of course. Then we watched a movie. Today we are going to Walgreen’s to use some more of the 2.00 Jane make up coupons because it is on sale again. We have really enjoyed having her and Peyton here. Ashley is getting impatient waiting on me to go to town. I will close with another cute picture of Peyton showing me his Thomas sticker.

Friday, February 22, 2008

A Fun Day!

We traveled to Kingfisher yesterday to watch our niece play in the Regional Tournament. I t was a great opportunity for us to see Clint’s brother and his family and to see our daughter Ashley and our son in law Chris and Peyton our grandson. Clint’s mom went with us and we had a little mini family reunion! Our niece played very well and they won!! After the game we went to Peyton’s day care to pick him up and then we all met at El Charo’s to eat. We said our good bys and Peyton came home with us. He has been so sweet! He is such a good boy. Katy had school today and Peyton has been going around the house saying “KK where are you?” I keep reminding him she is at school but it hasn’t stopped him from looking for her. Peyton wanted pizza for lunch. He told me it was yummy. Here are a few pictures of Peyton posing for the camera.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

No Job For Me

You may have noticed that I haven’t mentioned the shelter coordinator job lately. The job doesn’t officially start until sometime in April when the shelter is targeted to open. I have been reading policy and procedure and licensing. I have recently learned that the job has some qualities that I am not willing to take on. I didn’t realize that the shelter homes (homes that take the younger children that don’t go to the shelter) where so dependent upon the shelter coordinator. I just assumed that it was much like being a foster home. I assumed wrong! The shelter coordinator is responsible for babysitting, picking up prescriptions, delivering medicine and other things that I always thought the foster parents took care of. It is a 60 mile round trip which I thought I would get mileage for when I was called out to take care of something beyond regular hours. I was wrong again. They did tell me that I would be on call 24/7 but I understood it to be when I did an intake or when there was an emergency. I am really disappointed in the amount of time I would have to be away from home. It is so much more than I originally understood. It is a salary job with no overtime. They do give comp time but it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll get to use it. It is the type of job that is difficult to be away from. I have a friend that works there at the lowest paid job and she does get mileage she is not on call and doesn’t have nearly as many demands and she will actually make more than I will with her paid mileage. It just doesn’t make sense. I started asking a lot of questions today after I realized there was a lot more to the job than I first thought and they told me if I had any doubt about putting in a lot of hours to let them no now rather than after I was trained and working. I called Clint and discussed it with him and we decided it was more than I needed to tackle. So I am not accepting the job. They could double my salary and I still would have doubts.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

7 Strange/Weird Facts About Myself

I was tagged by Billie. Here is what you do: List 7 strange/weird facts about yourself.

1. My family thinks I am weird because I won’t eat meat off a bone. Yuck! I just get disgusted with the thought of eating a piece of fried chicken or gnawing meat of a rib bone!

2. I didn’t go to college until I was 41 years old.

3. I am very picky about the ice I use in my drinks. I only like Sonic ice.

4. I really enjoy mowing the lawn. I admit that I want it to be a riding mower but I could ride around on it for hours.

5. I am a freak about germs. I use antibacterial cleaner on everything! I prefer plastic ware in restaurants because I am worried that the flat ware isn’t clean enough. I put hairbrushes, combs, toothbrushes and anything else I think should be sterilized in the dishwasher.

6. I am obsessed about expiration dates. I rummage to the back of the shelves at the grocery store looking for the item with the longest expiration date.

7. I like my clothes hangers to match and all hang the same direction.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Our Gift From God

Living with a child who has a disability can involve sorrow, uncertainty, frustration, and continual energy drain. Sometimes as a Parent I grieve the transitions, such as academics, playing sports, or other milestones that put my child further out of sync with her classmates. However I believe God gave this beautiful child to me so that I could become a better person. I've learned more from Katy than I could ever teach her. With the love and acceptance I have for Katy comes a clearer understanding of all of God’s children and their importance. I have learned to rely on God for help more than I ever did before Katy came into our lives. As Katy has become more aware of her limitations I find myself determined to help her be more confident and to have faith in herself. I wouldn’t know where to begin with out God’s unending love and guidance in this daily journey with my gift from God.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

God Sends an Angel

I am so happy that we found the wonderful woman that is tutoring Katy. We prayed about what we should do for Katy. We realized that she needed extra help but we are so limited here where we live. I have always read to Katy and as she got older I would have her pick out a word and every time that word would come up in the story she would read it. We added two words then three but it is difficult for Katy to remember. We bought hooked on phonics we paid for tutoring in reading. I called Sylvan learning center and inquired about their program. We live almost two hours away from the nearest center and they wanted to see Katy daily. It seemed that nothing was working the way we had hoped. We continued to pray and one day as I was talking to someone about trying to find something that would help Katy in her reading she told me to call a lady that we will call Angel. I spoke with Angel and she set up a 30 minute meeting with Katy and me just to get to know Katy a little. We have been meeting for 45 minute sessions ever since. She is truly a remarkable woman. She will not except pay and she is so good at what she does. She has wonderful credentials and is truly a God send! Katy does so well with her. Katy has a very difficult time focusing and she is distracted easily. Our Angel has a way about her that Katy seems drawn to. Katy is so much calmer and truly enjoys the time she spends with her. This lovely woman was invited to attend Katy’s IEP and she declined because she didn’t want to know what another person says Katy can or can’t do. She didn’t want to hear her limitations. She wants to see Katy as a person that can learn to read regardless of how someone has rated her. I admire this woman and what she is doing for others and I am so thankful to God for sending her our way. Katy is improving and she is learning more every day! We still have a lot to learn but we are moving toward the goal of reading.

Sing a Song

Katy loves music. She listens to it daily. She sings her heart out when she takes a bath. She has a boom box that plays cd’s and a radio. We live out in the middle of nowhere so sometimes we don’t have a lot of choice on what radio stations we receive. On a couple of occasions I realized Katy was listening to a not so desirable radio station and I immediately went to change it when I realized it was the only station she could pick up. I decided to buy her a portable cd player without a radio. I then bought her some suitable cd’s and thought I had everything under control. It wasn’t long before I realized that Katy was not as careful with the cd’s as I hoped she would be and we were going through batteries at an astonishing rate! I thought about it and came up with a solution that really works for us. I bought her a mp3 player and I can put any song I want on it. It is rechargeable so we don’t have the added expense of batteries. Katy is happy listening to her music and I am happy knowing that what she is listening to is suitable for her little ears. Katy really likes the mp3 player it looks like a barbie. The regular price is $79.99 but I got it on sale for $19.99.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Oh the weather outside is frightful!

It is so wet and cold outside! The ice is melting a little but I am afraid when the temperature drops later this evening that we may loose power! The lights have flickered several times today. The power lines can only handle so much ice and they snap! I don’t want to loose power. Without it we have no water or heat! I guess I am a big baby but I really like the comfort that having electricity allows! Clint went to the other farm to check on things and he said the roads were a mess. The 4 wheel drive went out on his pick up while he was out! I hope it doessn't get so muddy that we can't get out with out the 4 wheel drive. I see a very big expense in our near future! Here are some pictures of what it looks like here.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentines Day!

Hope your day was wonderful. I went to the local flower shop today to buy some of my sweeties something for Valentines Day. They were sold out of all flowers except a few carnations, enough for one bouquet. People were calling and coming in constantly as I browsed around looking for just the right thing at a price that was just right for my check book! Then we were on to the grade school to get the girls (Katy and Brookylnn our granddaughter) and participate in the Valentines party. Everywhere I looked there were balloon bouquets, candy, cookies, cupcakes, and pop! My goodness the student’s were popping around like popcorn! We got everything loaded into the van and were off to Weatherford to pick up Pizza and our grandson Hayden from daycare. He was so excited to see Poppa and Nana! His big beautiful smile just melts my heart! He had three sacks of goodies and from the looks of his shirt he must have had some cupcakes or cookies too. We got everyone home and separated all their goodies so Mom and Dad could see what they got when they get here. There is one thing that would make my day even better and that would be if my other Grandson Peyton and his parents were here to have pizza and play with us. I will be giving him a phone call later on this evening.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Girlie Girl

Katy loves to have her nails polished. She really likes pink!

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Decisions

Today was Katy’s IEP (Individualized Education Plan) it started out much like all the others. With everyone signing in and making small talk while we waited on everyone to get there. There have been a few changes with the way the state department handles state testing. We went over some questions about Katy’s academic development in order to see what kind of testing she would qualify for. It was decided that a portfolio would suit her needs but in order for the special education teacher to work on this portfolio with Katy she has to provide services for her. Katy has not been going to special Ed because I have not wanted that for her. First I am very pleased with her teacher and her Para. Her teacher is wonderful! She goes out of her way to make amendments so Katy can still be a part of her 3rd grade class. Which I feel is very important not only for the social skills she gains by interacting with children her age but because she likes being with them. She wants to be involved with them and be a part of the class. She is also able to keep Katy on target which is not an easy task. Katy respects her and is willing to listen to her. Katy has had the same Para since Kindergarten they have developed a bond. As a parent it is so much easier knowing that the person working with your child every day cares about her and wants what is best for her. We also have a very dear lady working with Katy outside of school. She is helping Katy learn to read and working on knowing the value of money. Katy’s Para works one on one with Katy with her reading also. Ok back to the portfolio. I am faced with the decision of deciding to either let Katy continue with things as they are and fail her state testing which will bring the schools score down or let the Special Ed teacher work with her and turn her work in as a Portfolio showing her work as she is capable of doing it. Now the first reason I have not wanted Katy to be in the Special Ed class. It is about 100 feet away from her school in a different building which is underground. It is old and it leaks and many have been sick because of the mold issues. It makes me sad that the children that already have problems are the ones who are using this building. Who wants their child in an environment like that? Katy already goes to her therapies in this same building. I just didn’t want to add another daily session to it. The second reason I haven’t wanted her to go is because Katy does so much better when she can get one on one. She is easily distracted and has a hard time focusing where there are other children involved. I just didn’t really see how putting her in this situation was going to benefit her. I would rather her be upstairs with bright lights and being with her favorite people either doing what she can with her classmates or getting the one on one with her Para. The Special Ed teacher told me that she had a spot for Katy where she didn’t have any other children. I asked her if she could guarantee that it would continue to be that way and she said no. Which didn’t surprise me. The third reason is I have dropped in down stairs on several occasions and found a hen party going on in the Special Ed room! Katy was not involved because she wasn’t there but other children were. I also witnessed a child asking for assistance and was told to sit down and wait in a tone I would not want a professional to use with my child. (He interrupted their gossip session) I have expressed all of these reasons except for the last one to the team at past meetings. I ended up crying because I was so frustrated! I truly felt as if the schools test scores were more important than my daughters well being. Yes I did express this to them and of course they disagreed. They told me that they felt Katy would enjoy it and that she would be less frustrated by not having to take a test that she couldn’t read and couldn’t understand. Each of her therapists gave their reports and Katy’s Occupational therapist said that Katy had made many improvements and recommended going from 2 times a week to once a week. I honestly do not think that would have been recommended if in an earlier phone conversation I had not mentioned to the Special Ed teacher that I was considering taking Katy out of Speech. The Special Ed teacher called me and asked if she could provide services to Katy this year. I told her the only way I would even consider it would be to replace one of the therapies where I felt she was making the least improvements. She doesn’t get one on one in speech and I feel she has been kind of stuck. She doesn’t seem to be improving in this area as much as the others. I can take Katy to other therapist where she could get one on one if I felt that was necessary. I was just considering how she would do without it for a while. I am not saying that her therapists are not good at what they do or that they haven’t benefited Katy. I am very grateful for all they have done for her. I have probably totally confused you at his point. I am letting Katy go to Special Ed and work one on one with the Special Ed teacher as a trial until the end of the year. I am going to try it and see if it benefits Katy. If it doesn’t we won’t continue. I hope it is the right decision. I have really struggled with it. I want my little girl to learn all she can and I want her to be happy doing it.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Celebrate

We had a blast watching Peyton at his Birthday party. He was so excited! After ice cream and cake he finally got to unwrap his gifts. After each gift he would run over to the person that gave him the gift and tell them thank you for my present. He was such a polite little guy. As he looked into gift bags and ripped open packages his little eyes would shine. I guess a boy can never have too many Thomas toys or at least Peyton doesn’t think so. He received so many fun gifts; he will keep Mom and Dad busy for hours just keeping batteries in them! We stayed to help clean up and carry all the goodies up stairs and to the car. Then it was time to say good by. We live about an hour away but it seems like more because everyone has such busy schedules. I attended a funeral today and my Dad said I wish people would come see me and visit like this while I am still alive to enjoy it. We get so busy and caught up in day to day living that we sometimes forget how important it is to make time for one another. I love you Peyton and I wish I could see you everyday! Hearing your little voice on the other end of the phone and seeing your pictures on Mommy's blog will have to do on the days I can't see you. I wish you were closer to your other Nana and Pop too. You’re a lucky little boy to have so many people who love you so very much!